Take, for example, the story of Snow White. In one universe, the story was first recorded in nineteenth century Germany, and would become the basis for the first Disney princess movie. In another universe, a beautiful young teenage girl named Snow White was left to die in the forest and was rescued by seven dwarves. In yet another universe, Snow White was rescued by seven giants, rather than seven dwarves.
The giants returned to the Land of Clouds with their new charge. The Land of Clouds was where most of that world’s monstrous beasts called home. The Land of Clouds was also beyond the gaze of the magic mirror, so it could go back to telling the queen she was the fairest in the land. This in turn meant the wicked queen would never hunt down Snow White to give her a poisoned apple.
The queen did start a beauty cult in the kingdom, and was eventually overthrown by a peasant revolt led by Troef de Zwijger, who brought prosperity and security to the Kingdom for the next one hundred years. But that’s a different story altogether.
Our story is about a Snow White who was adopted by seven giants, not seven dwarves.
The giants were all roughly forty-eight feet in height. Snow White knew this because the giant primarily in charge of her education, Doc, had her determine the mean, median, and mode of her six giant guardians and Junior, her giant foster brother who was the same age as Snow White.
Doc had no problem with his ward as a student. She was amazing in all the subjects she studied.
Doc’s problem with Snow White was that she was eighteen years old now, and as a beautiful, young woman, she should be looking for a handsome young human nobleman to marry.
Except Snow White had no desire to meet humans, or any race that could be called “human adjacent” (elves, etc.). Considering that humans had abandoned her, Snow White’s attitude could be forgiven.
Snow White seemed content with living a life of non-romantic love with her bachelor giant guardians, her giant foster brother and a couple of other monsters who held the honorary title of “Uncle.”
Doc wished that Snow White had a female of any species to talk to. But again, the fact that a female had wanted to kill Snow White when she turned thirteen didn’t make Snow White trusting of the female of any species.
Then there was Snow White’s attire. When the giants had visitors, Snow White either didn’t show herself, or wore conservative robes. When it was just family, I.e., the giants and/or honorary uncles, Snow White wore the same style of clothing she wore at thirteen. This included the size of the outfit. But over the last five years of her life, Snow White had done a lot of growing. So a lot of her was on display. More so than her guardians or her uncles thought was appropriate.
To this end, Doc had been selected by the rest to have a talk with Snow White. A wide ranging talk that would include romance, dress codes and the birds and the bees. It was a talk that Doc wasn’t looking forward to.
