It was a dark and stormy night. And cold. The furnace stopped working in my apartment building went out again and Mrs. Wilker asked me to try to fix it. Did I mention I was a tenant here? Mrs.Wilker always calls me when something needs fixed, and she knocks $5 off my rent. Did I mention Mrs. Wilker was very old?
I had moved here when an.......occupational injury forced me to retire from my service to God and country. Since then, I've been helping out at the animal shelter during the day and trying to write my book at night. If only I had any talent for writing.
I like dogs better than most people I know anyway. And I met Katie, a vet tech, when I took an injured dog to her clinic when someone dropped it off at the shelter. I've got to know Katie pretty well over the past year. She frequently gets a phone call from me when the clinic is closed when I've found some poor sick or injured animal. She knows the shelter is strapped for cash, so she'll do what needs to be done and forgets to do the paperwork. I never asked her out. She's a lot younger than me and I'm not ready to saddle another human being with my baggage yet.
Back to the furnace.......I checked the pilot light and it was out again, but this time it wouldn't relight. I walked into the tool room where I keep all my parts and tools to repair whatever breaks in this dilapidated excuse for a building and feel a draft. A pane in the window is broken. Oh, yeah. That was on my ever-growing list of things to do. It hadn't gotten cold here yet so I had put it off. Well, now it is, so a few strips of duct tape will hold it until tomorrow. Hey, what's this string doing here.....tied to a nail and goes all the way to the floor. Hmmmm. Some of the kids most have been playing in here. Gotta remember to lock the door when I leave. I find the parts I need to fix the furnace and return to my task. I changed the pitot tube, adjusted the valve and used my old Zippo, the one that saved my life when it took a bullet that was meant to perforate my chest, and the furnace fires up. Great. Time to take a nap.
(A crash is heard coming from the tool room and a calico blur runs between my feet)
WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!! God damned cat. Knocked over a bunch of tools. Hope nothing broke.
(I start to pick up the tools to put them away)
What's that? Under the handle of the rake. Looks like a doll, but it's moving. Where's my flashlight? Oh shit. It's a person......a tiny person. When I lifted the handle off of its legs, the tiny person tried to get up and run but screams and falls to the floor again. I say, "Hey now. Just relax. I'm not gonna hurt you". Shining my penlight on it, on her, I mean, it's a young girl, I see swelling and deformity on both her legs, just above the ankle. (I was a combat medic for part of my life, and the skills and experiences I gathered have helped me numerous times in my life) Okay, think......what to do? I got it. In the toolbox was a six-inch ruler. She looks about 5 inches tall, so this should serve as a backboard. Then I tear the hem off of my T-shirt and then into a couple strips. I tell her not to move. I lay the ruler down above her head and gently take hold of her shoulders and slide her onto it. Then I secure her to it with the T-shirt strips. There, that will work.
Now safely immobilized, I pick up her on the ruler and carry her up to my apartment. Now what? Go to the ER? How am I gonna explain this tiny girl? And they're gonna ask questions from me, questions that I really don't care to answer, like my name. I'm sure they would call the authorities and the cops will run a CCH (Complete Computerized History) on me and when they find I don't exist, more questions. Nope. That won't do.........KATIE !!!!!
I grab my phone and call her. "What is it this time?" is how she always answers when my Caller ID shows on her phone.
I hesitate for a moment....how to explain this......"Uh, I found an injured.....small animal. I think it's........ back legs are broken."
"Okay. I'll be at the clinic in 15."
"Thanks. I owe you dinner."
"You still owe me dinner from the last time......and the time before that....and the time".
I cut her off with an "I love you" and hang up. I look around and find a cigar box that I keep change in. I dump out the change and fold up a dishtowel and fit it in the bottom. I lay the tiny girl on the ruler in the center of the box, then roll up a couple washrags and place them on each side of her to keep her from moving. She still hasn't said a word. I think she understands what I'm saying though. She still looked terrified, but she's not struggling or trying to get free of the bindings securing her to the ruler. I close the lid and hurry down the stairs. I don't have a car (you need to register it in your name which I didn't want to do) so I carry the box under my parka. The clinic's only a block away and Katie's car is already in the parking lot when I get there.
I go into the clinic and Katie's in the exam room. I place the box on the exam table, but stop her from opening it.
"Don't freak out", I tell her.
"About what?"
"This", as I open the box.
Katie looks in the box and yells "What the fuck?"
I tell her what I know, which isn't much. I took the items I picked up from the floor around the girl when I found her.......a soaking wet and muddy handmade romper and a backpack that looks like it was made from a piece of burlap and showed Katie. I tell her that I think this girl has always been tiny. While handmade, the romper and backpack are beautifully made, not like some doll clothes or something. Then I remember the string and the broken window. She must have been caught in the storm and climbed into the building through the window to escape the cold. And the cat......must have tried to catch her but knocked over all the tools instead.
Katie seems to have recovered from her initial shock. She says, "Okay, let's start with some x-rays. Nice backboarding job. Where'd you learn how to do that?"
"Uhhhhhh, in the Boy Scouts", I lied.
The x-rays showed bilateral fractures of the tibia and fibula of both legs, just above the ankles. Also, a couple rib fractures and a broken humorous. Thankfully, none of the fractures were displaced and Katie deftly immobilized her legs and arm with plaster bandages and tape. She keeps looking at me while Katie is working. I placed the tip of my finger on her shoulder. She doesn't flinch away, but even seems to push into my finger, like she's seeking some comfort, even if it is from a stranger twelve times her size. Once the plaster dried, Katie checked her feet and hands for circulation, then placed her back in the cigar box.
"Take her back home and I'll stop over tomorrow to check on her. By the way, I liked my steak medium rare." she said with a smirk.
Back at my apartment, I take the tiny creature out of the cigar box and hold her in my hand. I tell her that she's safe with me and I'll take care of her as long as she needs me. I asked her name, where's she's from and other small talk, but she's still not saying anything. I made us some food and found a pop bottle cap that will serve as a plate for her and a toothpaste cap for a glass. With only one hand, she had some difficulty eating and propping herself in a sitting position, but if I skewered a piece of food on a toothpick, she could take a bite and I had to hold the toothpaste cap so she could drink from it. At least, she has an appetite. That's a good sign. I make her a bed in the cigar box and set in on the coffee table. I usually sleep on the couch anyway and I want to stay close in case she needs anything. Hopefully, she'll be more talkative in the morning. She seems to understand what I'm saying and is either still too afraid to talk or maybe she's a mute. I don't know. Just play it by ear, so to speak. She is really cute, for such a little lady....and not just because she's tiny. She'd be really hot if she was my size. If I saw her in a bar, after a few shots of courage, I might have even gotten up the courage to ask her out.
Okay, time to try to get a little sleep. It looks like she's finally closed her eyes. I'll try to figure out some things in the morning. If nothing else, I guess I have a houseguest for the next 6 to 8 months............
