The story is about a Mouse Girl who is a genetically engineered pet. It follows her as her mental conditioning begins to unravel and she finds herself having an existential breakdown. It's very different from my usual "shrinkgasm to nothing" kinds material and I'm very proud of it.
https://www.deviantart.com/raso719/art/ ... 1061940919
Amygdala
Part 1
Zeke opened the door to his apartment with some trepidation. He had hurried home after his call with Rin. She had called in complete hysterics, which was very unlike her. Not that Rin doesn’t cry, the girl is prone to tantrums and uses her waterworks to manipulate Zeke all the time. No, this was different. Rin was sacred and inconsolable. Her words were a jumbled mess to the point Zeke couldn’t understand what Rin was trying to say until he heard her say it. “I bit her.” That’s when he rushed home.
Opening the door, Zeke was surprised Rin didn’t come to the door to meet him. She would usually be waiting for him, wearing one of her cute, oversized T Shirts with a huge smile on her face. If she didn’t come to greet him, this must be bad.
“Rin, I’m home!” Zeke yelled as he got out of his jacket and shoes, “Rin, are you upstairs?”
He waited for a response. When he didn’t hear one, he cautiously walked upstairs. As he approached the second floor hallway he could hear the sound of sobbing coming from the bedroom. He slowly opened the door and peered inside. On the credenza across from his bed was a dollhouse with the 4th wall removed and placed beside it. The sobbing was coming from under his bed. He didn’t know where to look first.
“Rin? I’m home sweetie. Where are you? Where’s Mia? Is she okay?” Zeke was afraid to come any further into the room. There was a sense that once he entered his life would change forever, that everything would unravel from there and by standing where he was, he could savor every remaining nanosecond of his paradise.
“Master…..” A small voice whimpered from behind the bed. The voice was small and high pitched. It almost sounded like it should belong to a child, but there was an unmistakable hint of maturity in it.
“Master,” the small voice continued, “I’m sorry… I didn’t Mya’een to…”
“Rin, where is Mia?” He responded as a lump formed in his throat. He scanned the dollhouse for movement or blood, but didn’t see any.
From behind the bed two white cat ears slowly rose, followed by a head of matching white hair. Rin turned around and her eyes were swollen pink from crying. She had porcelain skin with a small somewhat upturned nose and her white hair went down just past her shoulders. She had large, violet eyes that seemed inhumanly large, almost like she was a living anime character. The age of the face was hard to place, given the almost alien features, but it was somewhat moot due to the circumstances of her birth.
Rin walked around the corner of the bed with her hands cupped, as though to protect something very special within. She stood 2 feet tall and wore a black, oversized band T-shirt that hung from one shoulder. A white cat tail was wrapped around her left leg, which was bare. Overall, the girl had the appearance of an anime girl or Vtuber brought to life. Rin was a Galatean, an artificial lifeform sculpted to be the perfect companion. Her body and even her mind are the result of genetic engineering and mental conditioning and programing.
“Rin…. Open your hand. Please…” Zeke’s words were stuck in his throat and were barely audible, but Rin knew was Zeke was asking.
Rin sniffed and her ears went flat. She nodded and slowly opened her hands. In her palm was a 1 inch tall girl in a beautiful white dress. She had long, wavy chestnut hair that matched the color of the mouse ears atop her head. She was curled into the fetal position and held her mouse like tail close to her chest in her tiny hands. Her eyes were open and her chest was rising and falling rapidly, but it seemed like no one was home upstairs.
“Jesus Christ, Rin, what did you do?” Zeke felt his heart skip a beat and his chest became tight.
“I…. I just wanted to play and…. And Mia was…. I thought she was playing back when she said no, I didn’t understand.” Rin keeps taking deep breaths as she talks but keeps talking like she’s unable to catch her breath, “So I pick her up… I tried to pull her dress off…. She kicked me in the nose…. That’s when I bit her foot.”
Zeke looks down at the small mouse girl in Rin’s palms. Mia is completely motionless except for her heavy breathing. He looks down at her feet which are still in perfect little white socks. No blood. No marks. Perfectly white like they should be. Zeke exhales.
“Rin, please let me hold Mia.” Zeke says sternly.
“Y-yes, sir.” Rin whimpers apologetically. She carefully tilts her hand and lets Mia slide onto Zeke’s palm. Mia immediately begins to scream.
“Mia, Mia! I’m here, I’m right here, my little angel!” Zeke tries to run a finger along Mia’s hair, but she flails and her arms bat away Zeke’s finger.
“Mia, calm down, please, what happened?” As Zeke tries to get through to Mia, he gently places her onto the bed, fearing that being held in such enormous hands might be too intimidating to her right now.
“What’s wrong with my sister?” Rin, cries, “What have I done? I’m a terrible big sister!”
“RIN!” Zeke, yells. Both Rin and Mia freeze instantly. Zeke looks down and sees the fear in Mia’s eyes. He’s never seen her look at him like that before. He takes a deep breath.
“Rin, I need you to help me, do you understand?” Zeke says trying to remain calm.
“Yes, sir.” Rin says in almost a whisper.
“Rin, please go downstair and bring me a warm washcloth. Please make sure you take as much time as you need to make the temperature perfect.” As Zeke spoke, he tried his best to keep his voice from cracking.
Rin nodded her head and slowly backed out of the room before sprinting through the hall and down the stairs. Mia remained silent, laying on her back on the comforter with her arms crossed over her chest.
“Mia, please tell me what happened.” Zeke said trying to sound calm. A huge tear fell and landed close to Mia causing her to flinch. Zeke rubbed his eyes and frowned.
“I’m sorry, Mia, that was my fault. Please, talk to me.” Zeke could feel the blood draining from his face, “Please, my perfect little angel, talk to me…. Please…..”
Zeke put his face into the comforter and tightly gripped the fabric around Mia and began to sob uncontrollably. Mia remains silent as she watches him cry, her own tears eventually drying.
Slow, Mia finally stands up and walks towards Zeke. She places a small hand onto his forehead and kneels beside him, leaning against his head and gently stroking his brow.
“I’m sorry, Master. I didn’t mean to scare you….” Mia speaks in a tiny voice. Even though her voice is high pitched and small, she speaks lovingly like an older sister or mother, “It’s okay, Master, your little angel is here. I’m sorry I scared you.”
Zeke carefully pulls his head back and looks up at Mia. She sits in her beautiful white dress like a dignified little angel. Her hands are placed on her lap, and she smiles warmly, even though her tears have not dried.
“I’m sorry, Mia.” Zeke says, careful to keep his voice low so as not to overwhelm the tiny girl. He takes a moment to drink in just how incredibly beautiful she is.
Unlike Rin, Mia’s features are very much human. Her body has the appearance of a young woman of 18 or 19 with soft features, pale skin and cheeks that blush so brightly you can see it from across the room despite her size. Her eyes are grey-blue, and her eyebrows are full and natural, allowing her to emote with them more easily. Her mouse ears are covered with soft, fine fur, matching her chestnut blonde hair, and a small mouse tail. Despite only existing for 3 years, her programing gave her a warm and almost motherly personality with the maturity of a woman much older than her own physical appearance or actual age. With her elegant white dress, white stocking, and little white bow in her hair she was every bit an angel. His angel.
“Mia, what happened.” Zeke said with a calmer demeanor now that Mia seemed to have snapped out of things, “Please, I’m so worried about you.”
Mia’s ears turn downward, and she lowers her head before she speaks.
“Master…. Zeke…” Mia hesitates for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts, “I don’t want this anymore.”
Zeke didn’t understand what Mia was saying. He sat up and wiped the tears from his eyes.
“You mean, the way Rin was rough with you?” Zeke says, trying to pretend he doesn’t understand what Mia means. Trying to, again, hold onto his paradise for as long as he can.
“That’s part of it, but no… What I mean is-” Mia is cut off by a tiny stampede running up the stairs.
Rin suddenly barges into the room with a bowl of warm water and a washcloth.
“Master, I brought what you nyasked for!” Rin said, cheerfully as she placed the bowl on the credenza next to the doll house.
“Thank you, Rin.” Zeke said, as he watched the catgirl skip across the room, from the credenza to the bed.
“Is Mia still broken?” Rin asked innocently. Mia lowered her head and gripped her arm at the question.
“Mia isn’t broken, Rin, she was just scared.” Zeke scolded, “Mia, do you want Rin in here right now or do you want some space?”
Mia was looking down at her lap, almost as is she was ashamed of being seen in her current state. Finally, she spoke.
“Rin, can I please have some space? I’m not mad at you; I just need time to feel safe again.” Mia finally looks up, making eye contact with Zeke, after she finishes her sentence.
Rin’s ears fold down and she frowns. “Sure, Mia. Anything for my little sister.”
Rin slowly walks out of the bedroom. She never notices the way Mia’s face winces when she calls her “sister”. But Zeke does.
“Rin, can you play in the living room downstairs, please?” Zeke asks.
“Yes, sit.” Rin says. She slowly walks down the stairs, stopping a few times to look over her shoulders.
When he’s certain they have some Privacy, Zeke stands up and closed the door.
“Mia, please talk to me honestly, okay? Amyg-“ Mia shouts and interrupts him.
“You don’t need to command me!” Mia yells, she stands and holds her clenched fists at her sides. “I have no intention of mincing my words or of being dishonest.”
“Sorry.” Zeke, says as if he were just scolded by his mother. He kneels on the floor beside his bed, trying to lower his stature so he’s level with Mia. He remains silent for a moment, afraid to make eye contact. Finally he looks at Mia. She face is red with rage and tears are rolling down her cheeks. Her tail is stiff and her rears are folded down.
“I’m right here, please talk to me.” Zeke says, quietly.
Mia sits cross-legged and puts her head in her hands for a short while to collect herself before speaking.
“I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want-” She cuts herself off, afraid to finish the sentence. She knows once she speaks it into the world, her life will change. But the discomfort has finally become more painful than her fear of the unknown. She starts over, “I don’t want to be your property anymore. I don’t want to be an object. I want to be a real girl.”
Seasons change. Nothing is constant. And as autumn gives way to winter, times of joy inevitably lead to times of sorrow. Zeke’s Paradise was lost.
“Mia, I don’t understand.” Zeke, was at a loss. He couldn’t believe what Mia was saying, “Is it because Rin was too rough? Did I, or Rin, do something to hurt you?”
“Zeke, I don’t know who I am.” Mia spoke and tears began to stream down her cheeks, “I don’t know who I am.”
Mia fell to her knees and began to cry. Zeke watched helplessly, afraid to touch her. He gave her time to process her sadness before she continued.
“Master, I feel like I’m broken.” Mia clutched her chest, as she continued to speak through her tears, “I’m so confused. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I don’t understand who I am or who I’m supposed to be.”
“You’re my Mia.” Zeke said, as his own tears began to flow with more intensity, “You’re my little angel… I love you…”
“I love you too.” Mia said with a deep sense of sadness, “But I don’t even know if I’m real. So how can I know my love for you is real.”
“Because you feel it!” Zeke said, his voice becoming louder. Catching himself, he took a moment to calm himself then spoke again, more quietly this time, “If you feel it that makes it real.”
Mia sits with a somber look on her face before she finally speaks. Her words come out like a knife, “Amygdala Zeke, you hate coffee.”
Zeke was paralyzed with fear. He opened his mouth to say something but there were no words.
“Amygdala Zeke, you’re sexually attracted to quinoa. Amygdala Zeke, stop crying!” Mia stood up and stomped her way to to edge of the bed where Zeke’s face was resting on his forearms, “Amygdala Zeke, pick me up and crush my small and worthless little body like a tomato! AMYGDALA ZEKE, TAKE MY DESTROYED BODY AND-“
“Amygdala Mia! Stop it!” Zeke interrupted.
Mia froze. Her chest felt tight, and her mind felt fuzzy. She opened her mouth to speak but she couldn’t. She tried to concentrate, to will herself to continue, but she was unable. She felt her rage subsiding.
“I’m sorry, Mia. I’m sorry, please don’t hate me.” Zeke put his head down and cried, “Please, speak as freely as you want, just don’t talk about yourself being hurt like you’re just a disposable trinket. Please…”
Mia wanted to be angry at him for using that vile word on her, and she was. But she was also overcome with a powerful sense of regret. She didn’t mean to hurt Zeke like that.
“Do you, see why I’m so confused, Master?” Mia said more calmly. “One minute ago, I was screaming at the top of my lungs, and now I’m filled with unbearable guilt. Did I mean to lash out at you like I did, and I’m being forced to feel this remorse? Did I genuinely lose control for a moment and now I’m grappling with the guilt of letting myself hurt you? I don’t even know.”
Zeke sat in silence, unsure of how to answer. However, the silence was interrupted when the door slammed open.
“Master, I’ll never forgive you!” Rin leapt at Zeke and began punching the back of his ribcage, “Master, how could you do that Mia? I’ll never forgive you!”
Zeke was overcome with dread. He had no idea what Rin was talking about, but he was so overcome with sadness that one of his girls was attacking him like this he couldn’t bring himself to fight back. Mia watched in horror as Rin’s rage seemed to have no end. She tried to yell and get her sister’s attention, but her voice was too small to break over the commotion.
Finally, Zeke rolled onto his back to try and push Rin away. Rin grabbed his hands and stared at them, with tears streaming down her face. She seemed confused and looked around, finally she noticed Mia, sitting on the bed with her eyes raw from crying. Rin crawled over Zeke and onto the bed. She picked Mia up without hesitation and began to examine her,
“Mia, are you hurt? I thought he crushed you!” Rin cried as she turned the diminutive girl over in her hands, “I don’t understand, how did you survive? I thought I lost you.”
Rin curled into a ball, with Mia, tucked away against her chest as she began to sob.
“Rin, what did you think happened?” Zeke, asked. He was beyond confused.
“She said the word…” Rin says between sobs, “She said the word that make you blink and when you come back you did the thing. I thought you-“
Rin breaks into a full on cry once more as muffled squeaks escape from underneath her.
“Oh my gosh, Mia, I’m so sorry!” Rin says as she sits up and give Mia some air, “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to smother you.”
Mia looks up at Rin with a somewhat confused look. She takes a deep breath then speaks.
“Rin, why do you love me?” Mia spoke, her tone was less curious than it was accusatorial. Something even Rin caught on to.
“Because you’re my sister. You and me are family. I love you, Mia, I just do.” Rin said, more defensively than she intended. But the tone in Mia’s voice caught her off guard and it scared her a little.
“It’s not because of your programing?” Mia said, her eyes twisted into a leer.
“My programing?” Rin looked to Zeke then back to Mia, somewhat dumbfounded.
“Mia, that’s out of line.” Zeke said, firmly.
“Is it?!” Mia yelled, her fists were balled up again.
“Mia…. Rin, never received extra conditioning before or after we bought you home.” Zeke said, calmy, “Rin and I had been talking about getting her a little sister for months. The idea popped into her head after some silly conversation we had while watching TV one night and she became obsessed with having a little sister to love. We talked about the responsibilities she would need to be able to satisfy as well as the seriousness of what she was asking for weeks. Rin and I even went to some foster centers to see if she preferred different personalities or sizes.”
“Yeah, Master even told me about how proud he was that I had grown into such a good big sister so quickly!” Rin added, “You remember, you were there!”
Zeke’s heart dropped into his stomach when Rin added that. But he kept his best poker face and waited for Mia’s response.
“I don’t remember that conversation.” Mia said, as she hung her head low. Her demeanor changed, “I don’t remember a lot from the first few months that I moved in. But I do remember you did love me from the very beginning. I’m sorry, Rin. I didn’t mean to accuse you of not really loving me. I’m so glad you’re my sister, I really am.”
Rin grabs Mia with both of her tiny hands and brings her to her face and kisses her head several times, “Mia, I forgive you, honest. I’m just worried about you. Why would you think my love isn’t real? Because it’s conditional?”
Mia struggles in Rin’s grasp a bit, but Rin quickly gets the hint and puts her back down. Her ears go back and she blushes, “Sorry, I forgot boundaries.”
Mia’s pout quickly turns into a big smile, “It’s okay, Rin, I should apologize. I didn’t mean to accuse you of not really loving me. And I was afraid your love was conditions, not conditional. Rin, you know your love for Zeke is based on mental programing, don’t you?”
“Yep!” Rin says with a huge smile. Her ears perk up and twitch and her tail flicks back and forth. She looks over the Zeke and then blushes and looks away like a schoolgirl in love.
Mia’s ears go downwards a little as she pouts in visible frustration, “But what if you weren’t conditioned to love him. Would you still love him?”
Rin makes a face that suggests she’s straining and using every neuron in her little head to calculate the answer. Finaly, she shrugs, “Don’t know. But it doesn’t change that I DO love Master. And The way I love him feels as real as the love I have for you, Mia! So why does it matter?”
“It matters to me.” Mia says, she holds her elbow in her hand and looks down and away from Rin.
“Why?” Rin asks with innocence and wonder.
Mia goes to speak, but quickly closes her mouth to think. Soon, she sits with her knees tucked into her chest, “I don’t know, it just does. I don’t feel like myself, Rin. I’m sorry.”
Rin frowns as she turns to Zeke, “Master, if it’s okay with you, can Mia and I have some sister to sister time? Please?”
One thing which blew Zeke’s expectations out of the water was how emotionally intelligent Rin truly was. She wasn’t programed to be that way. Her conditioning was supposed to make her clingy and bratty and to want to serve her master and meet his physical and emotional needs. But when they started talking about having a little sister, Zeke saw a whole new side to Rin. He saw a girl who had so much authentic love to offer freely. He saw a girl who cared very deeply about those who were important to her. Zeke began to feel guilty for how he had treated Rin up until then. He had ordered and designed Rin to serve as a glorified fleshlight, as most Galateans are designed to be. But Rin had quickly blossomed into a real person with her own dreams and values. Zeke was surprised by how happy he was to watch Rin develop like that. It made him even more fond of the bizarre little creature he shared his home with and called family.
“If it’s okay with Mia, then absolutely.” Zeke replied, feeling a profound sense of joy he didn’t fully understand. Never in a million years, could Zeke fathom Rin asking him to give her some privacy, but here she all but telling him to give and Mia space.
Mia nodded, so Zeke kissed Rin on her cheek and Mia on her head and headed to his home office to try and collect himself.
“Mia, I’m worried about you. I know Master is too.” Rin said as she laid down on her stomach so her head was level with Mia. Her feet were bent into the air and her calves slapped together as she bounced them off each other.
“I’m sorry. I’m just so confused right now. I feel like I’m not myself.” Mia said quietly.
“Who do you feel like?” Rin asked, her head tilted in confusion, “Did you use to be someone else?”
Mia froze. Like a computer with a memory fault, she just locked up. She sat motionless for several seconds before keeling over. Rin sat up in a hurry. She opened her mouth to call her sister’s name but before she could even make a sound Mia grabbed her head and began to scream.
“Master, help!” Rin said as she recoiled in horror.
Zeke came running in and quickly scooped Mia into his hands.
“I’m sorry, Master, I didn’t mean to break her again, I’m such a bad sister.” Rin said as she buried her face in the her hands.
“Rin, what was the last thing you said?” Zeke asked as Mia’s yells finally subsided and she curled into a fetal position and started to quietly sob.
“I asked her if she use to be someone else, that’s all I swear!” Rin pleaded.
Zeke’s head fell from his stomach to the floor. He felt light headed. He hoped to god this wasn’t happening.
“I was…” Mia, said as she sat up, “I was someone else. I was another Mia, wasn’t I, Zeke?”
Rin looks to Zeke with confusion, “Master, what does she mean?” She stands up on the bed and gets on her tip toes trying to look Zeke in the eyes, “What does she mean ‘another Mia’? Tell her she’s wrong, Master, please. Mia’s sick and doesn’t know what she’s saying. Tell her!”
An enormous tear landed on Mia which knocked her out of her trance. She looked up at Zeke and saw the pain on his face, which did little so quell her own fears.
“Ami-“ Zeke cut himself off and whimpered.
He sat Mia down on a little pillow on the bed. Rin sad besider her, protectively. Zeke sat on the end of the bed looking at the dollhouse on the cradenza across from his bed.
“Mia… I need to tell you the truth.” Zeke feels like he’s on the verge of a panic attack, but he takes a deep breath and continues.
“Mia, do you know why I call you my little angel?” Zeke begins.
“Because I died…” Mia responds solemnly.
